The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
