Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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