Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He keeps bees of course he's weird
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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