Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you didnt know i had herpes?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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