I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
