hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
