You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
