i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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