so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
