North Korea, Best Korea!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
