You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
