I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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