Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
