So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
