If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
