Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
