i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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