i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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