I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
