Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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