Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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