I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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