those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
