She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
