I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
