my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
