For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
