my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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