He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
