He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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