Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize