I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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