Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
