I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
