We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize