Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
