Your dad touched me again.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
