I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
