i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
