You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
