Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We got so high we made milksteak
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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