Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
