I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My penis needs a shock collar
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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