I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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