let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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