just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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