Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
