i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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