I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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