You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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