Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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