so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
