is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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