I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
