is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
