that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My ATM looks so different sober.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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