TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
