I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
