Redeem this text for a blowjob
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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