Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
