i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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