I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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