Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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