Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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