I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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