Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
