I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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