i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
