I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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