It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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