I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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