my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize