What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I see more hoeing in ur future
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
